I keep thinking I will do/write more, but the kids and the garden and the house keep me busy, and I paint some (not as much as I want....) and I'm editing a series of books... So I guess I'm just saying that there is so much I want to do, and so little time to do it.
But I shall continue to hope/plan/believe I will write more here.
Yesterday was Tom's 70th birthday. This is a huger milestone emotionally than any that came before, or at least that is how it seems to me. 70 is old. Old people are 70 or older. I'll be 70 next April. It is a fact that has to be incorporated into my psyche, and it is more difficult than I had expected.
One of the reasons it is difficult for me right now is because of recent losses. A year and a half ago, my friend Iris died after a brief illness. She lived 2 1/2 hours away, and we saw each other very infrequently as we got older. She was single, and was 6 years older than I am. We had met as young teachers in the same school district. But we moved away because of my husband's job change. She got out of teaching, and also moved, but stayed in the same area in central IL. Years ago, when she was younger and able to get around easily, she would visit us rather frequently. She was at our house for the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Thanksgiving almost every year, and at other times too. She was at all the kids' first Communions, graduations, Confirmations and weddings. She was like a sweet aunt, bringing baked bread and presents when the occasion warranted.
Her physical presence was welcomed always, but for me her emotional support was much more significant. After my mother died in 1981, and both of our fathers died in 1982, we bonded deeply and shared many stories of growing up with each other. We spoke on the phone some, and she dropped in on the way up to or back from her brother's. Then in the 90's we both started using computers for our jobs. I was teaching and she was working at a travel agency, and we both got computers at home at about the same time. When computers mystified and frustrated many people our age, both of us had to learn about them. We connected through aol chat back then, and that began a habit of checking in with each other almost every night. I would be winding down after finishing cleaning up the kitchen and grading papers, and would go online to check my email, and there she would be. We spent hours chatting, often just sharing what we did during the day, but sometimes sharing deeply about our attitudes and views on politics and religion and morality. She knew me better, through those IM chats, than anyone else ever has. She was, for years, my most intimate confidant.
Her death was rather sudden and unexpected. She became ill, and was in the hospital. I knew about her illness only because I was in touch through facebook with her best friend and helper, Brian. He told me about her illness, and I wanted to visit, but he told me she was out of sorts and not welcoming to visitors. She was, we eventually discovered, suffering from brain tumors caused by lymphoma, and she died without my having spoken to her in over 3 months. I was more than devastated.
There were other deaths. My beloved Auntie Evie, my mother's sister, died in Rhode Island. A year later, her husband, Uncle Eddie, also died. My friend MaryLou lost her husband, Ed in Fort Wayne, IN. My eldest cousin, Ann Francis, died in Rhode Island, leaving me second only to her brother Paul at the top of my mother's family tree. A childhood friend, Raymond, who was like an older brother to me in many ways, died in Rhode Island. Laura, whose husband Mason was one of the first people we met when we were a young married couple, died after a brief fight with colon cancer. A woman I had taught with at EGHS lost her husband. My daughter-in-law's aunt died after a recurrence of breast cancer. All these loses in the past 3 years.
My aunt and uncle were in their 90's, but the others were all around the same age I am now. Laura was actually younger than me. So 70 is old now, there is no denying it. I can easily see that this pattern of losing contemporaries is just beginning, and will undoubtedly continue now for the rest of my life.
I'm fortunate in so many ways, but especially because of the 5 grandchildren that now fill my days and keep me busy. For almost 2 years I watched Nathan almost full time, and that was such a blessing. Nathan is Ben and Jen's. Then Becca and Adam had Anna, and I watched her too, when Adam and Becca both worked. Adam's schedule has always included working on weekends, since he is a restaurant manager, and having 2 weekdays off. The schedule became complicated for a while, but by then Tom had retired, and between us, we managed. Sometimes we had both kids together, but often we split up and watched each of the kids at their own houses. Then Ben and Jen had Noah, which further complicated things.
When Noah was around 6 months old, Jen decided to stay home with the boys. That made things easier for us, and we tried hard to get all 3 kids together once a week. We all loved the idea of their growing up together and being close.
2 1/2 years ago, Becca and Adam had Johnathan. Last February, they had Mia. So now there are 5 grandchildren, and Tom and I are still watching Becca's 3 when Adam is working. It has meant 3 or 4 days a week, but right now will be only 1 day a week for a while. Adam's bosses have decided that managers will work 4 10-hour days, and will have 3 days a week off. Plus, Jen is now wanting to help watch Becca's kids one day a week. So we are still very involved with the grandkids, but not as tied up as we have been. It's a good thing! They help keep us active, but sometimes they also wear me out!
So those are my thoughts about where I am in life. I'm nearing 70, and I'm relatively healthy. I guess, considering my age, that is all good.
